When You’re the One Being Bullied at Work: A Guide for Senior Professionals

Workplace bullying doesn’t always look the way we expect. It’s not always loud, obvious, or coming from a manager. In fact, it often flies under the radar—especially when the person being bullied holds a senior position or is seen as successful, confident, or competent.

If you’re a leader, manager, or experienced professional facing mistreatment at work, you're not alone. Research from the Workplace Bullying Institute shows that women over 40 are among the most frequent targets of workplace bullying. These individuals are often perceived as capable or influential—which unfortunately can make them a threat in the eyes of insecure or power-hungry colleagues.

If you’re in this position, this post is for you.

What Counts as Workplace Bullying?

Workplace bullying is not just about someone being rude or having a bad day. It’s repeated, targeted behavior meant to demean, disempower, or isolate someone. It often creates a power imbalance and has emotional, psychological, and sometimes even career-related consequences.

Examples of Workplace Bullying:

• Being undermined: Projects are quietly sabotaged, or your input is consistently dismissed or minimized

• Exclusion: You’re left out of meetings, group chats, or decision-making spaces that fall within your role

• Gaslighting: You’re told you’re “too sensitive” or “ you’ve misunderstood” even when there’s clear evidence of mistreatment

• Gossip or whisper campaigns: Your reputation is chipped away through subtle but damaging comments

• Micromanagement or overreach: You're scrutinized in ways that others are not—despite your seniority or experience

• Public embarrassment: You’re criticized or mocked in meetings or cc’ed unnecessarily in reprimanding emails

  
  

These behaviors may come from a colleague, direct report, board member, or even someone more junior in rank who’s looking to exert control or discredit you.

Why Senior Professionals Often Stay Silent

Many people in senior roles hesitate to name their experience as bullying. You may feel:

• Embarrassed—“Shouldn’t I know how to handle this?”

• Afraid—“Will I lose credibility or authority if I speak up?”

• Isolated—“Who do I even go to? HR reports to me.”

• Dismissed—“I’ve been told I’m overreacting.”

Let’s be clear: you are not overreacting, and this is not just the cost of being successful. You deserve to feel safe and respected at work, regardless of your title or how long you’ve been in your career.

What You Can Do If You're Being Bullied at Work

Here are some steps that can help you respond to bullying in a way that protects your well-being, dignity, and leadership.

1. Name It (To Yourself)

Sometimes the first step is simply recognizing that what’s happening is not okay. Labeling the behavior as bullying (even privately) can be validating and clarifying. It helps shift the focus from “What’s wrong with me?” to “This behavior is unacceptable.”

2. Document Everything

Keep detailed notes: dates, times, what was said or done, who was present, and how it affected your work. Save emails, screenshots, or other records. This isn’t about being petty—it’s about protecting yourself if you ever need to escalate or defend your professional integrity.

3. Don’t Assume HR Is Your Only Option

If you are senior enough that HR reports to you—or if you’re concerned that HR may not be impartial—consider other trusted internal allies:

• A peer at your level

• A board member

• A mentor outside your organization

• A lawyer or therapist (for confidential guidance)

4. Set Boundaries Directly (If Safe to Do So)

If you feel it’s safe and appropriate, a direct, calm conversation can sometimes shift the dynamic. For example:

“I’ve noticed several instances where my contributions were dismissed or criticized in a way that felt personal rather than professional. I’d like to understand what’s going on and find a way forward that’s respectful.”

Sometimes bullies back off when they realize you're naming the behavior. Other times, they escalate—which is why documenting things and having support is so important.

5. Handle Public Undermining with Calm Authority

When someone tries to discredit or embarrass you in front of others, it’s often designed to catch you off guard. The goal in these moments is to stay grounded and avoid getting pulled into a reactive exchange.

Instead of defending yourself on the spot or matching their tone, you might say something like:

“Let’s take that offline—I’d like to discuss it with you one-on-one.”

Or:

“That feels like something better addressed in a private conversation. Let’s circle back after the meeting.”

Short, calm responses like this can subtly shift the power dynamic, show that you're not rattled, and demonstrate emotional intelligence to everyone else in the room. You don’t have to win the moment—you just have to hold your ground.

6. Protect Your Confidence

Bullying often chips away at your self-trust. Surround yourself with people who respect and believe in you—whether that’s a coach, therapist, friend, or mentor. Reflect on your achievements, strengths, and the values that brought you to this point in your career. You are not defined by someone else's insecurity or cruelty.

7. Know When It’s Time to Go

This is a tough one, especially when you've put years into a role. But if the bullying is persistent, and internal systems won’t or can’t protect you, your well-being comes first. No job is worth your mental health.

Leaving doesn’t mean failure—it means choosing yourself.

Final Thoughts

Being bullied at work—especially as a senior professional—is isolating and painful. But you are not weak for being affected. You are human. And you are not alone.

There is a way through this. Whether it’s standing your ground, having hard conversations, or ultimately choosing a new path, you get to decide how you want to move forward.

Your dignity, confidence, and mental health are worth protecting.

Want to talk about it? Reach out for a free consultation.