Three Good Things: A Simple Habit That Can Change How You Feel

Without intending to, many of us end the day thinking about what went wrong, what we didn't finish, or the long list of things on tomorrow's to-do list. This is actually due to biology. Our brains are wired for threat detection, which means they naturally scan for problems, risks, and gaps. That vigilance keeps us safe. If you're crossing a busy street, it's safer to pay attention to the erratic drivers than to the pretty flowers by the side of the road. But it also tends to leave us feeling perpetually behind, and like life feels more negative than it actually is.

The good news is that this default setting can be gently interrupted. Because it is our innate nature to notice the things that can hurt us, we may need to train our brains to also notice the positive things in our lives. We can do this with a small, deliberate practice: name three good things from your day.

That's it. Three things.

These things don't have to be dramatic. They can be very small, like the delicious coffee you had on a sunny patio, traffic being lighter than usual, or a kind interaction with a store clerk. You can also tailor what you notice to your specific situation. If you're struggling at work, you might name three things that went well there. If you've been feeling like you're not getting enough done, they might be three small things you completed that day. The point is to train your attention, briefly and intentionally, toward what was present and positive rather than what was absent or negative.

You can do this at the end of a workday, around the dinner table, or just before bed. You can write them down or say them out loud. Some people do it alone; others share it with a partner or their kids, which has the added benefit of making it a small ritual of connection.

The research behind this kind of practice is worth knowing about. Psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough published a landmark study in 2003 in which participants were randomly assigned to different conditions: one group recorded things they were thankful for each week, another recorded daily hassles, and a third recorded neutral events. Those who kept a weekly positive listing exercised more, reported fewer physical complaints, felt better about their lives overall, and were more optimistic about the week ahead compared to those focused on hassles or neutral events (Emmons & McCullough, UC Davis).

In a daily version of the exercise with college students, those in the positive condition reported higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, and energy, and were more likely to have offered emotional support to someone else (Greater Good Science Center).

What strikes me about these findings isn't that they're surprising. It's that they confirm something many people sense but rarely act on: where we put our attention shapes how we feel. And attention, unlike so many other things, is something we have control over.

Some people hear "three good things" and worry it sounds like a gratitude practice, which can feel loaded, particularly for people who are going through something genuinely difficult. I'd encourage you to set that framing aside entirely if it doesn't fit. This isn't about feeling grateful in some spiritual or performative sense. It's about noticing the genuinely small, pleasurable, meaningful, or simply good things in our lives, and giving your brain a slightly different assignment, one that teaches it to notice the positive alongside the hard.

Consider giving three good things a try and see what happens.